Tapahtuipa eräänä aamuyönä
Kun +30 vuotias ja -30 vuotias päättävät extempore painua vapaaehtoisesti pissiksien mekkaan, lopputulos ei voi olla kummempi kuin mitä tarinassamme.
Jonon lisäksi hilpeyttä aiheutti lienet punaviini ja epäuskoisuus ettäkö ylipäätään olemme moisessa tilanteessa. Ovimiehen pyyntö allekirjoittanutta kohtaan “otatko hupun pois” kikatutti jo mallikkaasti narikka-jonossa. Hihi, se sanoi otatko hupun pois hihi.
Tilanpuute ei iskenyt, enemmänkin olisi toivonut karttaa ja kompassia suunnistakseen baarista toiseen, kerroksesta seuraavaan. Pikkuhiljaisen tilanteen vakauduttua baarityöntekijän kaveriksi lyöttäytymällä lanteet alkoivat tuntua voidelluilta, ja tanssilattia huusi Travoltamaisia liikkeitä.
Noh, ei siinäkään mitään, vaan se jono. Taksi. Se jota ei oikeastaan ollutkaan. Vaan oli tolppa, ja puhelin jolla kanavoin riemuani seisoa yksinään tolpalla johon ei taksin taksia tule.
Tietysti olisin saattanut päästä lämpöiseen mersuun nopeammin, jos en olisi inttänyt toistuvasti taksikeskukselle seisovani SIMONKENTÄN SCANDICIN EDESSÄ, johon ei tule taksia vaikka
olen nyt ainakin jo 2 kertaa soittanut teille että kuolen tähän paikkaan. Kun en seisonut moisen hotellin edessä lainkaan.
Varmasti kiittelivät minua Simonkentän hotellin edessä kun taksia valui solkenaan paikalle.
Jo hyväksyneenä kuolevani tolpalle josta jähmettynyt ruumiini aamulla löydettäisiin havainnoin kyhjötykseni keskeltä valon taivaalla. Tarkemmin ajateltuna se taisi olla polttimojen pari jotka kaarsivat hotellin eteen.
Miekkonen hyppäsi autostaan ja loi säälivän katseen runnottuun olemukseeni ja lähti lastaamaan ah, lämpimään tilaan jotain. Katsoin hetkeni tulleen ja päätin vain odottaa kuin vaaniva porokoira miekkosen paluuta sisätiloista. Välitön reagoiminen räminään ja lyhyt puurtaminen kuin +30 pissis lumessa auton välittömään läheisyyteen.
“Moi, et millään viittis heittää mua kotiin” (myös säälittäviä lauseita siitä miten kuolen, kuolen, kuolen kylmään). Ainakin yli 1 minuutin monologin jälkeen kuin Jumalan sana olisi langennut korviini.
“No hyppää kyytiin, mun pitää kyllä jakaa nää pullat sitten ensin”.
Keitin kahvit kun pyydettiin ja nukahdin erittäin tyytyväisenä aikuisen pissiksen toimintaani omaan pehmoiseen sänkyyni, 2 tuntia värväyksen jälkeen. Näin saattaa käydä kun käyttää lakkaa liikaa. Suuri ja lämmin kiitos Pullakuskille.
Nopo @ 2008-03-05 08:35 •
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