Riskinsä kullakin
Olen virallisesti ostanut ensimmäisen kuntosali-ja-vain-ja-ainoastaan-korttini.
Vaikka aikaisemmin en käynyt kuntosalilla oikeastaan kirveelläkään, kantani ei perustunut kovin usein kuultuun väitteeseen;
“Emmä käy salilla, kun tulee liian isot lihakset”.
Olenkin saanut nyt aamuisin pelon sekaisin tuntein herätä notta joko on lihaksien koko Swartshengeggerin luokkaa.
Mies kyllä entisenä ammattiuhreilijana on varoittanut että jo 12 vuoden säännöllisen kuntosaliharjoittelun jälkeen lihaksien koko saattaa olla ns. liian suuri.
Sitä odotellessa.
Kuntosalilla tutustuin myös uber-moderniin-laitteeseen joka on ilmeisesti keksitty sen jälkeen kun joku ei jaksanut lenkkeillä ulkotiloissa. Eli juoksumattoon. Rynnin heti kokeilemaan onko tämä vain elokuvien hapatusta ettäkö siitä koneesta voi lentää seinään. En lentänyt, muta joku muu oli totisesti lentänyt.
Kipsilevyssä juoksumaton takana on Leslie Nielsenmäinen painauma.
Ilmeisesti JOKU ei ollut lukenut varoitus-A4:sta, yhtä niistä sadasta (joita salin oviin ikkunoihin seinään ja kattoon on ladottu enemmän kuin demareiden vaalimainoksia), jossa muistuttettiin että matolla EI SAA JUOSTA LIIAN KOVAA.
Totesin itse välittömästi että ovelia ovat juoksumattoinsinöörit, olivat latoneet tarran maton etureunaan jota hypnoottisesti tuijotin pysyäkseni matolla. 40 minuuttia nostelin jalkoja, oli oikein hauskaa.
Sen jälkeen hippaloin LENKKARIT (koska kuulemma salilla on naurettavaa hipsutella sukissa, jonka kyllä itsekin allekirjoitan) jalassa nostelemaan painoja ja roikkumaan niissä sun näissä laitteissa oikein ahkeran oloisesti.
Lopputuloksen kruunasin vielä majoittamalla itseni Solariumiin. Vaikkakaan en saanut suositeltua 12 minuuttia ladottua tauluun ensikertalaisuuteni vuoksi, vaan digitaalinäyttö leiskui 11,58:n ja 13;42:n välillä. Koska otin jo sen 15 vuotta riskin tulla tapetuksi tupakan toimesta, valitsin rohkeasti 13:42 minuuttia sinisten lamppujen alla oleskelua.
Harkitsin vielä tutustuvani uuten mahtavaan innovatiiviseen keksintöön, joka nökötti hierontapöydän takana kulmassa nimeltään infrapunasauna. Mutta lähemmän tutkiskelun jälkeen huomasin että a) en välttämättä mahdu kokonaan sisään laitokseen jonka neliöpinta-ala saattoi olla melkein 0,3 neliömetriä b) laitteeseen tarvitaan toinen sirukorttihässäkkä jota en omannut. Lupaava puolen tunnin infrapunasaunassa istuminen kuluttaa yhden punaviinipullon -kokeilu jäi kokematta.
Ehkä ensi kerralla. Tosin en juonut sitä punaviinipulloakaan viikonloppuna. Alkaa olla aika ylenpalttisen vaarallisen terveellistä tämä elämä tätä nykyä.
Rikoot niskaan vaan silläkin uhalla että riskillä ne on rumat.
Nopo @ 2009-01-26 13:42 •
Lifee vaan •
Kommentit
Raporttia lihasten liian suuresta koosta odotellessa :)
Tyyppi kirjottaa hauskasti. Salilla näköjään voi olla myös kivaa. Infrapunasauna rules, ekalla kerralla naurattaa ihan pirusti, puolikslämmitetty sauna, mutta hikeä pukkaa niin saatanasti.
Kiitos kiitos. Itseasiassa jätin eilenkin hikipyykit väliin ja makoilin 20 minuuttia lamppujen alla. Loppupeleissä huomasin jopa että tuuletinkojetta voi säätää voimakkaammalle. Siinä vaiheessa aikaa oli enää tosin 2 minuuttia jäljellä kärsittävänä ja uin hiessäni. Käy se näinkin!
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